


Hand in Hand

by thenostalgicdreamer



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/M, gmw, zayadora
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 23:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13375464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenostalgicdreamer/pseuds/thenostalgicdreamer
Summary: Zay and Smackle comfort each other about missing their grandmothers.





	Hand in Hand

And tomorrow sloppy jones will be….” Isadora Smackle stopped herself suddenly. Why was she talking when her words felt meaningless? Why ignore the subject that was weighing on her mind? It had been two weeks since Zay’s beloved grandma had passed and since then he had been a different person. He hardly said anything these days, and she had stopped looking for his brilliant smile. Worst of all, she didn’t know what to do. She was still learning emotions, and all the words in the world couldn’t bring Zay’s grandma back.  
“I feel sorry for you,” she said instead. She squeezed his hand gently hoping that her touch would bring some measure of comfort.

He said nothing but squeezed her hand applying pressure for a couple seconds before releasing.

“Do you…” he began. “Never mind.”

“It’s okay,” she said, turning to face him. “You can ask me.”

She expected to see tears, but instead a small smile graced his face. “Do you remember your grandma the one….the one that died?”

She smiled. That was not a bad question at all. “Her name was Pauline, and I was given my middle name after her. She was an engineer at a company on Long Island. A bus hit her taxi while she was on a business trip in China when I was seven. She didn’t survive.”

“I know,” Zay said gently. “That’s the story you’ve told me over and over again, but do you remember her? Did she bake the best cookies ever or tell better stories than anyone?”

She quickened her pace pulling him along with her. “A lot of time has passed, and I don’t think about it much. She’s gone, and that’s final. And I do have my grandma Linda and my Iola.”

“But have you ever thought that remembering her could be good? When I feel sad about my grandma, I take out my journal and write another memory. Sometimes I cry while I’m writing, but writing always makes me feel better.”

She frowned and forced herself to take a deep breath before replying. “But what if I’m fine already? When was the last time you saw me cry?”

Zay gave her hand a squeeze. “But you’re trying to let yourself feel, remember?” he reminded her. “Feeling is good even if it feels good in a bad way.”

“Okay,” she consented. Even if she didn’t like his idea, she ultimately trusted the kind, wise man she called her boyfriend. “What do you suggest I do?”

“Take me home with you, and show me what you have of your grandma,” he said leading her to the subway station.

“I do not object to such a plan,” she said.

He leaned over to kiss her. “It’s going to be okay,” he said. “Trust me.”  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
They were still walking hand in hand when she opened the door of her room. He lead her across the room and spun her around pulling them both down to sit on her bed.

She laughed breathlessly. “You, Zay Babineoux, are absolute perfection.” She bopped his nose. “Dancer boyfriends are seriously underrated.”

“As are adorkable girlfriends, who laugh even when you don’t tell a joke,” he returned with a smile.

The fact that he was back to his witty self filled her heart with joy as she playfully tried to wiggle out of his grasp. Instead of letting go, Zay raised his eyebrows and tightened his grip.

She looked up at him in an attempt to catch his attention. She tried to keep her tone serious, but she felt herself breaking into a smile. “I do believe you wanted to see some effects pertaining to the grandma of someone who currently cannot move to go get them.”

“I do,” he returned completely serious. “Go on.” 

He let go, and she went and grabbed the box in the closet where she kept her treasures.

She took a seat on the floor and began stacking the contents beside the box stopping only when she found a large Manila envelope. “I think this is what you were referring to,” she said as she passed the envelope to Zay.

He read the label on the front of the envelope. “Isadora.” He turned it over to look at the back. “That’s pretty handwriting.”

She put the contents of the box back and returned the box to its place. “My Aunt Tricia sorted through grandma’s things after she died. Each of us got an envelope to remember her by. This is mine.” she explained.

She took a seat down next to him, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders again. “I think you need to be the one to open this,” he said handing her the envelope.

She took it gingerly, opened it, and took out the top piece of paper. It was a printed photograph. “This is me and grandma on a path near her house.” She handed the picture to Zay. “Mom says she always took me on walks. Grandma was from upstate New York, and she recognized the leaves of every tree and knew the type of every rock. She loved that I wanted to know them too. Mom has told me grandma told her that she thought I had the makings of a fine scientist.”

Zay leaned back. “There you go. That wasn’t so bad.”

She opened up the envelope again and took out a small notebook that looked almost new. “Grandma took her granddaughters out to dinner for their tenth birthday. She would give them one present at dinner, and it was always a notebook of letters that she had written for them over the years. She only finished five of mine.” She flipped to the first page. “This one is my favorite.”

She began to read.

Dear Isadora, 10/17/06  
You are such a beautiful girl. Not only are you beautiful on the outside but you are beautiful on the inside too. You have such a big heart, and you want everyone to love the world like you do. I’m so happy you’re my granddaughter. 

Your daddy tells me you are doing a great job in kindergarten. I am not surprised. You are so bright and curious. You stop at nothing to learn something new. Never stop being curious, Izzy. The world needs you to find answers to your questions.  
I love you so much!  
Hugs,  
Grandma

There were tears in her eyes when she finished. It had been a long time since she had looked through the envelope, but she had never cried when she read the letters. Somehow hearing the words out loud had reminded her that she had had a real grandma who had loved her and was now gone. Sad was the word for that feeling.

Zay was quiet for moment perhaps battling sadness of his own. “That’s beautiful,” he said. “Sounds like my Izzy…..You’re still that bright, beautiful girl. She’d be so proud of you.”

“I know.” was all she could manage without bursting into tears.

“And she’s not here to tell you?” he asked gently.  
She merely nodded not trusting herself to speak.  
“But I am, and I want to tell you that I’m so proud of you for being willing to let yourself remember and cry. It’s not easy,” he said wistfully. “Missing those we love. But we can carry on their legacy and live in way that would make them proud. That’s what you’re doing, Izzy. You’re already changing the world like she wanted. I know that because you’ve changed mine.” He found her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers.

The tears were falling freely now. “I’m supposed to comforting you, and you’re comforting me.   
You’re the one whose grandma just died, and I’m the one who’s crying.”

“Your heart loved her, Izzy, even if it didn’t have the chance to know every reason why, and it misses being able to love her. It’s okay to cry. You’ve watched me cry the past few weeks and held my hand.” She looked over at him and smiled. He continued, “At first, I wondered how I could survive without my grandma. Life just seemed so big and overwhelming I wasn’t sure I could do it. I still feel a big ache inside, but it’s starting to make me grateful for what I have and the opportunities each day brings.”

She buried her head in his chest repeating his words to herself in her head. He was right. This was part of growing and becoming everything she wanted to be. Even it hurt, wasn’t that what she wanted?

Zay interrupted her thoughts. "One of the things I’m most thankful for is you. No matter what happens, you never stop learning and growing. You’re so brave, and walking beside you makes me brave too. I love you, Isadora Smackle.”

“Love you, too, Isaiah Babineoux. I hope I always get to hold your hand.”

“Me too,” Zay said giving her hand a squeeze. “Me too.”


End file.
